


Dazed & Confused

by Uswntonfleek



Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, F/F, National Women's Soccer League, Slow Burn, US Women's Soccer National Team, Women's Professional Soccer
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-11
Updated: 2020-08-13
Packaged: 2021-03-06 09:15:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,531
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25847191
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Uswntonfleek/pseuds/Uswntonfleek
Summary: And, just for a second, they lock eyes. In that fleeting moment, Emily knows what she has to do to make herself happy.
Relationships: Kelley O'Hara/Emily Sonnett
Comments: 2
Kudos: 24





	1. Halloweekend pt 1

The last thing Emily remembered was lying down in her dorm bed to take a quick "pre-party nap." Now, she's being startled awake by her roommate as if the whole building is on fire.  
\--------------------------------------------  
"Sonny....Sonny.....Sonny!" Lindsey yelled as she shook Emily in her bed.  
"Ah! What Lindsey? What's happening?" She said frantically, waking up from her deep slumber. 

Lindsey looks at her watch, "Dude its almost 9:30, you gotta get ready. What time do you wanna head over?"  
"Oh shit, really? Does the party start at 10? I can be ready if we catch an uber at 10:15." Emily mumbled, still half-asleep.

After her afternoon practice, Emily got back to her dorm and fell asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow. She might as well have been dead for those 4 hours. Suddenly, she remembered everything that's in store for tonight and desperately starts looking for her phone in the mess of sheets.

"...shit...shit...shit...where is it?" she mumbled under her breath, looking for her phone. When she found it, she was relieved to only see a handful of missed texts, not the hundreds she anticipated.

Tyler: can't wait to see you tonight! can you believe it's been 2 months since the last time we locked eyes :)  
Tyler: gonna be a little late to the party, plane just landed but the baggage is delayed :(  
Tyler: em? are you alive?

Instantly, anxiety rose in Emily's chest as she thought about seeing her boyfriend for the first time since they both left for college. But, she couldn't decipher if this was excitement or dread. 

Freshman year they made it work...but it was nowhere near easy. The distance and hectic schedules put a strain on their relationship and, frankly, Emily didn't know if her heart was still in it. She met so many new people when she came to college, and she realized who her people are. Unfortunately, she didn't miss him as much as she anticipated. The daily phone calls turned into weekly, then bi-weekly. But, things felt back to normal when they were home for the summer. Except for the fact that Emily had begun to question her own sexuality during freshman year.

Growing up in the south, Emily never spent an ounce of time investigating or questioning her sexuality. Everyone she knew was straight, so it hadn't even crossed her mind that she might not be 100% hetero. Once she got to college, she met so many people who come from different walks of life--some of them part of the LGBT community. Then, she realized that some of the "friend crushes" she had during her life might mean something different. But she pushed all this down because she was definitely straight right? She had a boyfriend, after all.

Emily: yeah sorry! just woke up from a world record nap! we should be getting there around 10:30 so just let me know how your adventure is going

"Tyler still coming tonight?" Lindsey asked as she walked back into the room, now dressed for a typical college party.  
"Uh, yeah he's just gonna be a little late...something with his baggage or something"  
"Well then you better get ready, chop chop!"

Emily picked her outfit, black tank top with ripped jeans, then slapped some makeup on while she called the uber. While she was getting ready, she got excited about partying with all of her teammates again. Fall semester had been busy, so this is the first big party they've had since coming back to school. Emily loves her team, they make school feel like home even though it's hundreds of miles away. Once again, Tyler slipped her mind until her phone vibrated.

Tyler: finally got it! should be there by 11

She simply responded with a smiley face before grabbing her purse, and heading out the door with her roommate.


	2. Halloweekend pt 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Something is off with Emily tonight, and nobody can seem to figure it out.

Emily and Lindsey got to the party just when they planned: fashionably late. But, the party was just getting good so they were in luck. Right when they rolled in they were greeted by a wild amount of screaming, dancing and hugging. Even though they had all seen each other just hours before, this was a different environment they had waited all summer to be back in. Drinks were flowing, music was playing, Emily instantly felt in her element.

Once they snaked their way through the entry of the house the girls found their way to the living room, perfectly timing the start of a new pong match.  
"Sonnett. Horan. Y'all are our challenge, step up!" Kelley yelled from the other side of a folding table while fist bumping Alex, presumably her pong teammate.  
"Oh it's on O'Hara...best of luck grandma!" Emily shouted over the music while rolling up her imaginary sleeves.

As everyone could've guessed, Kelley and Alex were victorious as usual. As the team's lone seniors, everyone knew their reputation for being unbeatable pong players. After the game, the four of them were exchanging smack talk when all of a sudden Emily heard her name being yelled from the front of the house. "I'll be right back" she said as she scooted her way through the living room into the front hallway.

"Hey you!"  
And there he stood. The same guy who used to give her butterflies everyday during senior year of high school. Now, she stands here with an empty head and nothing to feel. "He hasn't changed a bit" she thinks to herself...then why does this feel so different. 

She greets him with a hug and a kiss then the two work their way through the house, Emily reintroducing him to everyone she sees. Eventually they work their way to the back of the house, to the conversation she left when he arrived.  
"Tyler, you remember Lindsey, Kel and Alex right?"  
The rest of the night is a blur of drinking, dancing and too much thinking. Emily doesn't understand why there's isn't a single spark in her. Does he feel anything either? She feels a weight when he's around, like she can't be her full self because she's worried about entertaining him. By 2am Emily and Tyler decide to head back to her dorm to catch some peaceful sleep. She thought maybe, just maybe, in the morning she would feel differently.

When Emily wakes up to the sound of Tyler walking back into her room from the bathroom she knows they need to talk. After some small talk about the party, Tyler asks if she wants to go out and get some breakfast to mend the hangover. "I feel like I haven't seen you in years, I just miss talking to you" he said in a sad tone. 

When they got to the bakery, Tyler knew exactly what she wanted and ordered it for her. "Such a fucking gentleman" Emily mumbled to herself as she watched him. She didn't know what kind of conversations were going to come from this breakfast, but she knew she couldn't be any more confused than she already is. "I'm gonna grab a table!" She yelled to him as he stood in line.

"I don't remember soccer parties being that wild huh?" Tyler said as he sat down and placed both of their breakfast sandwiches on the table.  
"Well, first off, thank you kind sir. And secondly, I don't know how those girls party so hard, I'm wrecked and I played it easy compared to them"  
The two exchanged stories from their own lives, but neither one of them seemed invested.

Suddenly, Emily needed answers. She couldn't live with "sorta being in a relationship" anymore. She needed closure.  
"Tyler" she said while grabbing his hands across the table. "How do you feel?"  
"Um, I've got a bit of a headache?"  
"No. How do you feel...about this...about us. I don't want to put anything in your head, but i just feel like shit is different..." Emily rambled on, trying to get her feelings across.  
"Emily, you know I'll always have a soft spot in my heart for you, but it seems like you've changed. I know going away to school has been really tough on you, and at the end of the day I just want you to be happy."  
"I've just felt different lately, like I'm not me. Being away from home has given me all these new opportunities and experiences but I don't feel like I'm taking advantage of them. Would it be selfish of me saying I wanted to navigate the rest of this semester solo?" Emily takes a deep breath and puts her hands on her temples. "I just don't know how to put energy into us when I don't even have enough for myself."   
Tyler moved his hands back to his lap and exhaled hard. "I don't want to hold you back. You deserve to figure yourself out."

Tyler grabbed both of their trash as they headed to the door that he held for her. "Such a fucking gentleman" Emily jokingly said for the second time this morning, only this time it was loud enough to get a giggle from her newly minted ex.


End file.
